If you’ve been following my blog, you may have realized that I didn’t write a post last week about my weekly weigh-in. I did weigh myself, I just didn’t have time to actually write the post, so this week is going to be a two-for-one. Last week I weighed-in at 143. Not a complete shock that there was a bit of a gain after a 4-pound weight-loss the week prior that didn’t really make sense to me. This week I expected it to be about the same – I had indulged a little more than necessary and exercised my heart out, which usually equals no gain/no loss. But when I weighed in yesterday, the scale read 146.6. WTF!?!? How is it possible that I gained 5 pounds in two weeks? Just for the sake of curiosity, I weighed myself this morning and today I am 144.4. Clearly my body has absolutely no idea what it’s doing.
I’m not going to lie. This roller coaster has left me frustrated, annoyed, and with an “I don’t care” attitude – a very dangerous place for me to be. Case in point: Today I brought a very healthy chicken quinoa stir fry to work for lunch. Did I eat it? No. Instead I chose to buy a turkey and brie toasted sandwich. And then my colleague brought in a flourless chocolate cake from a French bakery and I had a piece of that, too! (Let’s be honest. The cake was amazing and I would have eaten it regardless of my current attitude. But a small piece of chocolate cake sandwiched into a day of eating excellently isn’t too bad. But when followed by a lunch that included brie, it is no good.)
I need to get myself out of this funk. I’ve lost somewhere between 6 and 11 pounds. I don’t want to go back to a loss of zero pounds, which is what will happen if I continue to eat like I did today. I can’t control the number on the scale, but I can control what I eat and how I exercise. I know the decisions I made today were not healthy. I also know that eating well will lead to overall good health, a long-life (and more importantly, a high quality of life!), feeling great, sleeping well, and being able to hike up mountains – regardless of what the scale says. I need to continue to track my calories because that is my accountability right now (I even tracked today, with some guesses on the calories in the sandwich and cake), but before eating I also need to ask myself: Will this make me feel good? If the answer is no – whether it be a piece of chocolate cake or one too many celery sticks (gurgle, gurgle) – then I shouldn’t eat it. Easier said than done, I know, but I think it’s a good filter. For the next week I commit to asking myself that question before putting anything in mouth. If nothing else, I think it will cause me to become more mindful that I am actually making a decision when I eat. I’m not just eating a cracker because I’m passing by the jar in the kitchen at work. I’m not consuming chocolate just because a co-worker bought some to share. I will pause, ask myself if the food will make me feel good, and then I will proceed. Conscious. I’ll report back next week on how it goes!